I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
