So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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