Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
