Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
