Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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