Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
