hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
