I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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