Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
