allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize