Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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