I bet he comes in French.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
