if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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