There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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