I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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