we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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