I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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