omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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