wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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