Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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