Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
