I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
