i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
