Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
