So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
