Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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