Michael Bay diarrhea
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
