so explain again why im purple
no
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
