either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
