That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
