i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
