everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
