I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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