talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
