Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He did a backflip because drugs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
