I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
