She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
