i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
