Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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