I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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