I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
