He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize