After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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