so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
