This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
