every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
