Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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