YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
