what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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