Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think my nap took me to another dimension
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
