Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
