the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
