Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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