I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
