I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
