You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
