Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
