So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
