I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
